Think back on a moment when you
were CRAVING to be closer to God. Where you caught a glimpse of what Heavenly
Father has to offer and you longed for that conversion or change in your hearts
to be a little better.
I had a
moment like that recently at the Gilbert temple dedication. I was on a
spiritual high and I wanted to be as good as I possibly could be to be closer
to my Heavenly Father. Singing the closing song "The Spirit of God" I
was BELTING the words. I wanted to mean every word of that song and I wanted
the angels to hear and be witnesses of it! I was going to do what I knew was
right and nothing and no one was going to get in my way!
In
Mosiah 5:2 king Benjamin's people had the same desire that I had. "The
spirit of the Lord omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in
our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good
continually." As a character in Little Women put it, "I give myself
up, longing for transformation".
Bonnie
L Oscarson in the last conference said "Living the gospel and standing in
holy places is not always easy or comfortable, but I testify that it is worth
it! The Lord counseled Emma Smith to lay aside the things of this world and
seek things of a better. I suspect we cannot begin to imagine just how
magnificent those things of a better world are."
For me
usually after I catch this vision and am on a high I start writing down goals
of how I can be better....and by the time I finish the goals I can be SO DOWN
and think that I am a failure! I realize just how much I need to work on and it
can seem like an impossible dream. This is NOT the spirit of Christ. Christ
wants to help us! HE LOVES US AND UNDERSTANDS WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH AND THE
DESIRES OF OUR HEARTS! So often we think perfection means being perfect when
all it really means is that we are trying and doing our best! Christ will make
up the difference! Enough of comparing ourselves to others, even good things!
All we need to do is keep on trying! We cannot give up!
In the
talk be ye converted sister Oscarson said "true conversion comes as you
continue to act upon the doctrines you know are true and keep the commandments
day after day. Month after month." Just go slow and steady. But be
consistent.
To
receive that mighty change in our hearts and become converted it is a
process that takes time effort and work. We need to allow ourselves to become
changed by this! So many times I am too busy to let myself become changed from
the time I put into a scripture study, so the scriptures will be open for a
half an hour but my thoughts will be everywhere else but on "things of a
better world". I put the time in, but I didn't give any effort to showing
Jesus that I want be changed. Other times I'll put the effort to have a good
scripture study, but doing it only once a month is not putting int the work to
allow yourself the time to become converted! Conversion or change is a process,
but it is a JOYFUL PROCESS!
One of
our family scriptures Helaman 3:35 says "Nevertheless they did fast and
pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in humility, and firmer and firmer
in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation,
yea even unto the purifying and sanctification of their hearts, which
sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God." It
doesn't say that they did immediately become strongest humble person around or
the firmest person in the faith of Christ! lol It was a process! But the next
sentence says that it was a joyful process. It FILLED THEIR SOUL WITH JOY AND
CONSOLATION till it purified and sanctified them BECAUSE they yielded their
hearts unto God. This time on earth is a time of growing in the plan of
happiness. Not depression from wishing we could run faster than we can walk.
It can
be hard to tell if we are becoming more converted in the business of life, but
if we take time to be still we are more easily able to reflect on the direction
we are making in our life.
I have
felt my conversion to family history strengthen as I did family history and
took some names to the temple for Sealings. While I was there I felt like I was
a part of the most tender sealing of a couple that loved each other so much on
earth but weren't sealed and thus weren't married in heaven...till just then
when their love story was finally complete and they sealed for eternity. I was
reminded of the BOUNDLESS LOVE that I have for my
Another
time I had a choice to make and my head was telling me one thing and the spirit
was telling me another. But I trusted my head more because it made sense to me.
Long story short people were hurt from my choice. I felt horrible because I
ignored the spirit and now I had such sick feeling around me that I couldn't
shake. I could hardly think. My husband asked if I had prayed and I hadn't. I
pleaded to my Father in Heaven for the power of the atonement to be forgiven
and to PLEASE take this nasty feeling away so I could be joyful again.
Immediately I felt the peace and joyfulness that I was longing for. Through a
mistake on my part I was able to grow and become changed because I allowed my
savior to change my heart. THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS! Growing though our trials.
Don't get hung up on the mistakes and instead embrace the ability to change our
hearts in the process.
Right
now missionary work is huge and everyone is saying that now is the time to do
our part. Last week we were asked to pray for each of the missionaries and the
people they are teaching by name. So that is what I am doing now. I don't have
a testimony why I am doing that, but I know that that is what I am supposed to
do, so I'll do it! Little by little every day/month/year my heart will become
changed by me showing the Lord I am willing to obey even if I do not know
exactly why. Someday hopefully I will see that conversion.
Slowly
and Joyfully by living commandments my heart will be molded and converted into
what God needs it to be.
"Although Conversion is miraculous and life changing event, it is a quiet miracle". We just need to "Be still" and know that God is God and that he does have a purpose for us. I testify that He loves us and longs for us to be closer to Him just as we long to become closer to him. It is NOT AN IMPOSSIBLE DREAM.
